Reports of heroes disappearing from public view have emerged following the start of the Beta Project. It appears that many heroes, some of whom are very well-known, have been less frequently in contact with friends and family in recent weeks. Due to the secrecy of the Beta Project, it is unknown how many of these "disappearing" heroes are actually tied up in Beta and how many have possibly stopped communicating for more sinister reasons.

Many heroes and citizens are unwilling to talk publicly about their fears, but many are concerned by the lack of public communication from heroes previously known for their verbosity. One citizen who did not wish to be named says she is very worried by the disappearance of one of her Hero neighbours. "He'd always stop by to say hello, and it's alway comforting to have a hero in the building - stops those vandals from painting on our walls, I tell you! Anyway, I was watering my petunias late one night when I saw this strange delivery van drop off a package at [the hero]'s apartment - it may have said "Beta" on the package, but I wasn't wearing my glasses - and the next day he was gone! He looked like he had packed in a hurry and left me a note to water his potplants. I haven't heard from him since..."

Other residents report similar stories at a number of different locations.

Heroes have also started to notice that some of their comrades have gone missing. "It's not like they've gone and been kidnapped or been beaten by their foes," said Delta Echo, a natural tanker hero. "The bad guys would be gloating if that happened. It's more a case of familiar faces disappearing from the local watering hole, or guys just not turing up at the gym. It's like they've got something better to do."

Paragon Police officials have indicated that no formal investigations have yet been made into the whereabouts of the vanished heroes.

In an unusual incident, Parker Peterson, webmaster of the infamous site ParagonBabes.com was attacked in public by the famous hero Scarlet Skirt. This incident takes place after Scarlet Skirt became aware that her voyeur neighbor was taking pictures of her when she is flew over his house and then posting them on his website.

"That behaviour’s outrageous and demeaning for a female superhero. We can’t fight crime anymore without considering that some creep is taking advantage of our costumes," says an upset Scarlet Skirt. "I did [beat up Mr Peterson] . And if I can, I do it again."

The police state that there is nothing they can do to help Scarlet Skirt. "It’s not a crime to take pictures of the sky. And if a superhero is flying by and someone sees something, well, she choose her costume, she knows what could happen," said a police spokeswoman.

In his defense Parker Peterson will only say that, "C’mon man! Look at her skirt! You can see all of it, right here from the ground level. She was totally asking for this!" After that comment, Peterson was beaten again, which is no surprise. If the reader is curious, the pictures of Scarlet Skirt can still be seen on the website.

Mr Peterson sustained severe bruising from Scarlet Skirt's attacks. Police say they will be speaking to Scarlet Skirt about her behaviour.

---

Advertisement

Statesman is set to be a major spokesman in a new campaign that seeks to increase the amount of fruit and vegetables consumed by people on a daily basis.

His association with the campaign is seen as a positive move, but the selling the message of healthy eating is potentially difficult.

"Of course we are happy that Statesman has gotten on board," says Marly Mitchell of the Paragon Population Health Board. "We needed someone who people look up to in order to help get across the message of healthy eating, and who better than Statesman? He's the healthiest human around!"

A healthy eating program should see the average person eat two serves of fruit and five serves of vegetables every day. Current statistics indicate that most people eat only half these amounts, with fruit being preferred over vegetables.

Preliminary research into the effectiveness of the campaign have been very positive. In an unprecedented surprise for his parents, 7 year-old Benny Erikson happily chowed down his greens after watching the television ads containing Statesman.

This plate of vegetables included several carrots, peas and a lot of broccolli. Mrs Erikson, a nutritionist, said, "My boy is a straight-up kid, he knows that his greens are good for him and I encourage all children to eat greens. That Statesman really tells kids to eat greens, and he's kinda cute too..."

When asked about what he felt about vegetables, the young Benny solemnly stared at his plate, and replied, "I like Barney." Distracted by the child's inability to answer a question, this reporter noted that several other children in the city block were really into vegetables, perhaps an early indicator of Statesman's success in yet another field.