As any self-respecting hero (or villian) will tell you, there is one thing that will set you apart from other heroes. One thing that will draw citizens to you, asking for your help. One thing that will make you a hero among heroes.

It is, of course, your costume.

You will hear some people say that a costume doesn't mattter; all that matters is that you serve your fellow citizen and protect them for the greater good. What hogwash! No hero that doesn't take a minute to co-ordinate their wardrobe is ever going to get the accolades they deserve. If people can't look at you without smirking or averting their eyes from the fashion disaster you've put on, you are never going to get the high profile gigs. (Oh, and for those that intentionally put on bad costumes in order to be "funny", I ask you - how many funny heroes get remembered? That's right - none. And where's the funny member of the Surviving Eight? There isn't one.)

Fortunately, you have my wealthy of experience to draw upon as I tell you what to wear in Paragon City. If you follow my advice, it won't be too long before you are getting invites from the top teams and appearing in the Social pages. And for those that don't... well, every team needs someone to hold the camera for the group shot.

Let's begin with the basics:

• First off - colour co-ordinate! Pick a few colours that combine nicely and use them to accentuate your costume. Do not pick lime green and hot pink as a combination unless you want to burn the retinas of those unfortunate enough to look at you.
• Choose a limited number of colours for your costume - have one (or two at max) as the main theme and then just add a touch of other colours if you need to. Do not have numerous different colours for each part of your outfit as it will look like you got dressed in the dark.
• Accessorise! A bland costume can be made elegant by a few subtle additions, like an approprate belt or some nice shoes. On the other hand don't overdo it. No-one likes to team with someone who has bits and pieces jangling everywhere - it makes it very hard to sneak up on bad guys and it looks cheap.
• In reality, it doesn't matter if you choose to wear armour or not, since getting hit in the head with a baseball bat will still hurt. Most villains also know better than to attack your armoured bits and will go for the softer parts. Besides, if you can't take a few slugs to the chest everyday you probably aren't going to last long in Paragon City. Pick what is going to look good on you and forget about practicality.
• Despite the stereotype, masks aren't essential for heroes... unless you are a Mexican wrestler as well.
• Don't wear costumes similar to the villains you will be fighting. Those alleys and sewers can get awful dark and cases of mistaken identity abound, leading to fights between card-carrying heroes.

Those are just a few pointers to get you on your way. Picking the right costume can take a long time and care should be taken to make sure that it's "you". Heroes may come in all shapes and sizes, but there are really two types - those that look good, and those that don't.

Ciao!

In a surprise exclusive, a well-known website has published the accounts of hero Kingblade and his involvement in the Beta Project. Although apparently a low-level hero, Kingblade's story from behind the walls of Paragon City paint a promising picture for those wondering how things were going.

Kingblade's article focuses on his arrival and early battles with villains, including teaming up to take out a recognised boss. From his accounts things look stable and involving within the Beta Project, but it also appears that villains near-dominate the landscape. No information was provided on when Paragon City's gates would be opened to the general hero population.

The article did have unintended consequence - several heroes believed missing were revealed to actually be in the Beta Project, with a few embarrassed heroes having to come clean about where they were after appearing in pictures.

"I just couldn't believe it," said one hero who did not wish to be (further) identified. "I'd told my wife I was out bowling five nights a week in order to protect her against the consequences of the Beta Project. However, this Kingblade takes a happy snap, it goes on the front page and there I am without my hood on! My wife gave me absolute hell for not telling her where I was... I think she would have preferred there to be another woman..."

The Beholder has been unable to determine at this point if Kingblade will release any more accounts of his time in Paragon City.

Watch out Citizen!

Comments from The Dragon

Yes, the citizens of Paragon truly do need to watch out. As a super hero it is my sworn duty to fight evil where ever I see it and this sometimes means running across the road. So please, citizens of Paragon, when you see a super hero run in-front of your car - STOP!

I cannot tell you how many times I have been pushed along by a motorist who just didn’t stop! I am sorry if you are having a bad day, and I am sorry if you are “sick and tired of these heroes who run in and out of traffic all day.” But we do have a job to do, would you rather we didn’t? No, I don’t think you do. So please. WATCH OUT for super heroes. After all, we are watching out for you.

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
You're playing God, and he’s a lot better at it than you.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You will unwittingly ‘cross over’ into some other universe, where you have to help this annoying-but-fast giant blue rat save a bunch of cute animals, then dispense tree-huggin, hippie justice on this fat industries scientist guy. Ever feel like your not being appreciated as a super hero? You should start.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
Stop worrying about it; you're not getting into the next Beta wave either.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
Some heroes were meant to fly, some can jump far and wide, still others teleport. You chose the ‘Big Wheel’ method, good work.

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
Really can’t shake the feeling that you're just a metaphor for homosexuality can you?

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
It's hard to have a decent secret identity when your parents name you after Statesman. Mild mannered Statesman Schwartz? C'mon!

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
Your arch nemesis will buy-out your butler right from under your nose. So not only will you be left without an intelligent, dry-witted, English man-servant, but your enemy will know you sing ‘Hakuna Matata’ in the shower.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You will receive another “We're not so different” speech from a super villain, though this time it comes from a gigantic celestial being who travels around the universe turning planets into billiard balls.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
So you didn’t get into ‘Xavier’s School for the Gifted’ - big deal, you can always fall back on your safety: ‘Mutant Tech.’

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
The moody anti-hero has been played - why not try the ugly-yet-gentle voiced behemoth, who likes to dish out poetic justice on villainy and pretends to drown kittens to get girls? That’s the wave of the future super-hero wise.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
Sure, aliens bestowed a costume onto you and granted you superpowers. Are you sure you just didn’t go swimming in some toxic waste and then have “Grandma” make that yellow and neon green pyjama suit?

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Will you escape the confines of Mr. Misfortune’s Box of Doom!? Will you be able to disarm the dynamite that lines the Hillshire Farm Orphanage!? And what of Betty? Will she be able to convince the Commissioner of your innocence BEFORE IT’S TO LATE!!?? tune in next time on Horoscope. (Brought to you by delicious Ovaltine)