For too long Paragon City's streets and parks have been overrun by villains, looters and those looking to take advantage from the lack of martial forces. Spurred on by the fall of so many great heroes from Rikti skirmishes, these parasites on society have claimed some of Paragon's prime real estate for their own. Even majestic Atlas Park, showpiece of the City's greatest statues and finest buildings, is not safe from marauding gangs of troublemakers. It has to stop.

Each day seems to reveal a new villain group who have arisen in the vacuum of law enforcement. It has gotten so bad that Rikti forcefield technology combined with more conventional techniques has been needed to define the 'safe' and not-so-safe areas of the City.

What are ordinary citizens to make of the dubbing the most dangerous areas "Trial Zones", especially when key infrastructure lies within them? The so-called Faultline is one such area - it supplies water to the rest of the City, yet is located in one of the most dangerous areas imaginable and frequently attacked. Another critical zone is the area once known as Venice; a Rikti attack on a Crey lab has left it a biological hazard, yet it is populated by Freakshow gang members who are potentially raiding high-technology from surviving Crey stores in the area. Both locations are important to the City for different reasons, but the end conclusion is the same - these areas need to be cleaned out and regular police just aren't equipped to do it.

Paragon City is in desparate need of protectors, yet the number of heroes entering is barely a trickle where a torrent is needed. The citizens of Paragon City both want and need superpowered heroes to help tip the balance. All it will take is the opening of the gates, the declaration that Paragon City is safe to enter and a flood of heroes will make their mark in washing away the grime that current infests city streets.

In a stunning move today, Paragon City's Hero Regulation Office (HeRO) passed a bill, outlawing, for a period of at least one year, all super adventuring involving swinging from ropes, vines and/or webs. This action, in response to multiple complaints lodged within the office pertaining to said swinging, has been undertaken with an explicit goal - clean up the Paragon City skyline.

"For years our rooftops, our lamp posts, our awnings have been covered with the discarded remnants of irresponsible heroes haste," comments HeRO spokesman Binny Conteh, "Sections of Paragon City very closely resemble a Christmas Tree with tinsel everywhere."

"The time has come to lay a moratorium on swinging and, in following, what swinging heroes leave behind," finishes Conteh.

The act has been met with much frustration. By close of business, the HeRO office was webbed in, tied up and overgrown with several different climbing plants/vines. No heroes have stepped forward to claim responsibility for the playful vandalism, but one hero, who asked to remain nameless, commented, "I'm 15, I stick to things and my life is tough enough, now my chief method of transportation is off limits? I hope crime can wait for me to walk to its whereabouts..."

Heroes are not only taking a bite out of crime, they are also biting into Hero Sandwiches.

Corner venders and fast food stands are making big bucks selling large sandwiches to Paragon's hungry heroes.

One vender says, "Fighting crime is hard work! Our heroes need to keep up their strength."

This type of sandwich has many names around the world. Some United States names are: grinder, hoagie, poor boy, submarine, bomber, torpedo, zep, muffuletta, and still more not mentioned in this article. In Paragon there is only one name fitting for such a sandwich - the Superhero Sandwich!

One hero I approached while he was eating a superhero sandwich said. "I would love ta shove this down a Rikti's throat and watch em suffocate."

Another very zealous hero said. "Villains of the world shall feel my mighty wrath fueled by this sandwich of hero replenishment. I shall chew up the villains like so much meat, cheese, and condiments. I shall flush them out of existence like so much soft putrid digested organic matter!"

Gargantuan heroes were seen eating these sandwiches from full grocery bags like a normal human would snack on chips. Speedsters wolfed them down in seconds. Scrappers tore into one sandwich after another. Flame heroes roasted theirs for a melted cheese and crispy crust flavor. Insect heroes were witnessed nibbling on a few. I did not see any controllers like myself eating any, but I suppose they could have been imagining they were eating one. I sure was.

Go now and fuel up on Superhero Sandwiches. The tasty way to defeat crime!