Paragon citizens have been shocked by the announcement that the Lost have successful in nominating a candidate for City Hall in the upcoming City elections. The Lost managed to legally place one of their members on the ballot after collecting over 1500 signatures on a nomination petition and paying the $250 registration fee.

Although Paragon City has strict laws reguarding the association of candidates with villain groups, to date the Lost have had no criminal complaints raised against them. It is known that heroes fight Lost members on a semi-regular basis, but there is no evidence that the Lost have ever been institutionally involved in anything more dangerous than loitering.

Smiling Max, the Lost City Hall nominee, said he was campaigning on a platform of higher welfare spending, enlargement of the Paragon sewer system, improvement of emergency facilities and for kicking the Rikti out of Paragon City. "At a time like this, Paragon City needs strong representation from City Hall. As a candidate who lives locally and knows every nook and cranny of the Birthplace of Tomorrow, I feel that I am best suited for the job. I have been homeless before, but so have many citizens thanks to those thrice-damned Rikti. Once elected, I will take steps to ensure the people of Paragon City are appropriately proctected. Soon our struggles will be at an end!" said Smiling Max.

Political commentators have seen the nomination as a bold move, but doubt that Smiling Max has much chance of success. "Paragon citizens are very wary about electing those tainted with villainry to City Hall," says Michael Duncan-Hyde, former City councillor. "Sure, Paragon City has had villain mayors in the past - Adam "Apple" Greene, who was in the pocket of the Family, or the infamous Comrade Menace of the early 60's - but they managed to exploit loopholes to get into office. No citizen would ever be dumb enough to legitimately vote a villain into power. The Lost won't get their mutated hooks into City Hall, I can tell you that!"

Election officials have indicated they will be closely examining the petition used to nominate Smiling Max to determine how may of its signatories have legitimate City addresses.

In breaking news, it appears that the 5th Column, a Nazi-orientated paramilitary villain group, has been overthrown in an internal coup and is now called the Council. The coup de tat appears to have occurred at the highest levels of the organisation and is linked to the appearance of the Kheldians in Paragon City.

Villain watchers are shocked by the developments. "Never in a million years would have I picked the 5th Column to be the first group to be destroyed in Paragon City, and from the inside too," says Eddy Longergan, editor of Uber Leet magazine. "However, it means that 5th Column stuff is going to go through the roof in value for collectors, wihle Paragon citizens can look forward to being pushed around by a whole new set of bad guys in army uniforms!"

Paragon City gliterati and party people have petitioned City Hall to allow construction of a number of secure clubs, bars and other socially orientated venues. The petition is in response to the distinct lack of venues in which citizen and heroes can dance without fear of being attacked by criminal groups.

Currently most raves and dance events are being held in abandoned warehouses and are often the target of villains. DJ H3r01C, who has one of those responsible for the petition's organisation, says she has lost count of the number of times her performance has been interrupted. "If it's not the Skulls, it's the Hellions or the Vahzilok. Or worse, it's the Skulls AND the Hellions AND the Vahzilok. Most of the time my music is drowned out by the sounds of fighting, or my audience is getting abducted, or something equally wacky. It's got to stop!"

Although there is one club venue in Paragon City, it is an underground club, with few heroes knowing how to get to it. "Having a club that is so underground that no-one knows where it is just ridiculous. I've done a few sets there to absolutely empty rooms, and it certainly wasn't my music that cleared the place!" says DJ H3r01C.

The petition asks for permission to be given for the construction of secure club areas and the deployment of Police Security Drones on the door to protect patrons. DJ H3r01C says that, "currently citizens are getting attacked at clubs that look nothing like clubs - there should be some kind of minimum standard imposed by City Hall. At the same time heroes are left dancing in the streets - this was cool when Bowie and Jagger did it, but it gets old real quick."

Paragon City Hall accepted the petition, but made no promises about the future of clubs in the Birthplace of Tomorrow.

The wave of frost and sleet that until recently has blanketed Paragon City was the result of El Nino, not "some fairy tale involving Winter Lords" according to one well-known Paragon scientist.

Dr Freidus Ridge, controversial author and psychologist, has stated in a recent interview with Paragon Perfect magainze that the unseasonal coldness experienced by Paragon City is a direct result of gloabl warming and El Nino effects rather than the influence of the Winter Lord.

"What's more logical - that giant snowmen from a different dimension came to Paragon City to freeze the lakes, or that the millions of tonnes of carbon dioxide that humankind dump into our atmosphere each year is dramatically changing our weather patterns?" said Dr Ridge at one point in the interview.

"In reality, the giant snowmen had little effect and were just something for heroes (and I use that term loosely) to beat up. I certainly hope that we don't have a hot summer, or else we are likely to see heroes spoiling for a fight with the sun as well."

The issue of Paragon Perfect containing the interview comes out next month.

Julie Nehring of the Paragon Times is obviously the trusting sort. Why else would she write a glowing story based around information given to her by an alleged alien who just appeared in her apartment one day, having believed every word that she was told?

In troubled times such as these, it is nice to know that Ms Nehring hasn't lost her faith that people (and other creatures) that break into her apartment will tell her the truth. But she should owe the citizens of Paragon City a greater duty of care than to then repeat that tale on the front page of a newspaper.

Let's face it - the so-called Kheldians could very well be a new villain group, just waiting to crush Paragon City between their tentacles. Good PR aside, what do we know about them?

Nothing. There is some fairy story about there being "good" Kheldians and "bad" Kheldians and that the "good" Kheldians will help save us all, but what other sources of information do we have on them? And can we afford to trust one group of aliens having just managed to fight off an invasion from another set?

Here's an alternate way the Kheldians could be motivated: They see Earth, all ripe and juicy for the plucking. But they see their (possible) friends the Rikti get beaten. So they think to themselves, "Hey, let's pretend to join the superheroes, study them, befriend them, then when the time is right...". It could just be a couple of short months before all of us are under the yoke of a Kheldian oppressor.

What's that you say? That there is no proof of such a plot? Well, there is no proof that there isn't, just as there is no proof to match the fable spun to Ms Nehring. Paragon City heroes need to be especially vigilant around the Kheldian and should not, under any circumstances, team up with them. Teaming up with a Kheldian will give them ample opportunity to study our heroes up close. From there, it is just a short step to find those heroes' weaknesses that they will use to defeat them once the master plan unfolds.

Plus it should also be remembered that the Kheldians are shapeshifters. How can you trust someone (or something) that can change its shape at will? They can lie to you in one shape, then lie again to you in a different form. It is obvious that these Kheldians (if that even is their real name) are not to be trusted.

And another thing - does anyone else see the link between the Kheldians in shape-shifted form and the giant monster squid that "just happened" to appear in the waterways of Paragon City at around the same time as they announced themselves? Yeah, I'm sure it is just another "coincidence" too.

Is it just a coincidence that the Kheldians look like the monster squid that is attacking Paragon City?