Everyone has heard of the famous character Wolverine and we've all seen the wannabes out there who give themselves similar names to that famous hero, but now one of those wannabes claims to be the original. His name is WolfLatrine, and this reporter had a chance to sit down and talk with him.

Bone Malone: So, you claim that the famous hero Wolverine is actually ripping you off and not the other way around?

WolfLatrine: Well, I should think that would be obvious, bud. I mean, his name is obviously just trying to sound like mine. What's a wolverine anyway? Nothing, that's what. Plus, I have claws, he has claws. I say 'bud,' he says 'bub.' I'm hairy and angry, he's the same way. Look at my registration card; I was registered way before him.

BM: You say you have claws. What are your other powers?

WL: Super strength, regeneration, he copied them all from me, bud.

BM: Do you really think he copied your powers? I mean, don't you think that would be rather difficult? He says he's had those powers since birth...

WL: Did you ever notice how convenient it is that he has so-called amnesia? He can't prove that he's really a mutant at all.

BM: So you think he's an altered human then, that he gave himself powers through some sort of on purpose accident?

WL: That seems the most likely, yes.

BM: Ok, that aside, what does your name mean? A wolverine is a ferocious type of animal, but what is a wolf latrine?

WL: WolfLatrine is my Native American name. My powers are magical in nature. You see I got them while I was living on a reservation, though I'm not Native American. I was on a spirit quest, which of course leaves your body vulnerable since you aren't in it, and a wolf... urinated on me. So that's the name I was given. Anyway, Wolverine sounds like a made up name to me, bud.

BM: So, how do you explain Wolverine's great notoriety, and your almost complete lack of it?

WL: That son of a... that jerk on several occasions came in at the very end of battles I was fighting and stole all the glory for himself!

At this point WolfLatrine became rather irate, and I chose to end the interview. Agents for Wolverine could not be reached to comment, but even so this reporter is skeptical about the validity of WolfLatrine's comments.

The FDA hereby gives notice that it is conducting an emergency recall of all Wolverine Class Combat Claws that are produced by Paragon Cybernetic Technologies. The products serial number is PCT-WC-03-1. This recall includes metal alloy variations of these claws especially the Titanium, Adamantium and Rikti alloy versions of these weapons.

This product recall is only for PCT-WC-03-1's and does not concern any other cybernetic implants manufactured by PCT or any other manufacturer.

For the health and safety of all implant recipients of PCT-WC-03-1's must report immediately to their doctor or nearest hospital for medical assessment with those recipients who are officially licensed for this weapon also receiving personal notification by either mail or phone.

This model of claws suffer from a metallurgical flaw that was caused during manufacturing. The flaw causes the exotic metals they are made of to oxidize in the body and leech into the blood stream.

Oxidized metal in the bloodstream from these claws will cause medical complaints in patients including nausea, loss of appetite, chronic fatigue, impotence, migraines, memory loss, mental disorders, loss of bladder control, haemochomotosis, constipation, dihorrhea, cancer, organ failure, muscular disorders, loss of motor control, diabetes, heart disorders, respitory difficulties, blindness and deafness. Most of these symptomns are temporary if treated promptly else these can result in a permanent disability and in some cases may result in death.

The effects on mutant's and altered human's and their supernatural abilities are unpredictable. Varying symptoms could include poor power control, the complete loss of supernatural powers, and power surges that can result in injury to the person and anyone nearby.

Users with other cybernetic implants should also be aware that the metal oxides can leech into your battery supplies causing massive electrical drains or uncontrollable power surges that could result in injury.

Power surges in the battery supply could also result in death of recipients of Life Support Class implants. These include all heart, lung, brain, spinal implants as well as nanobots that are present in the blood stream or any vital organs.

Recipient of these Claws that have been made of metallic alloys that are based on Rikti metallurgical research are to report immediately to their nearest Vanguard Medical Research Facility. The unknown effect of the alien metals as they oxidize in the human blood stream will need to be closely monitored. Failure to comply with the Vanguard in this matter will result in criminal charges being bought forward under Section 14A of the Alien Technology Prohibition Act.

A number of heroes are in the process of suing Paragon City Hall, claiming that misspellings on their hero licenses are costing them income. In each case the heroes claim that administrative error have seen their names printed incorrectly which has directly led to a reduced income due to fewer call-outs.

Askard the Violent, a time displaced Viking armed with a magical sword, is furious with the mistake that has almost cost him his livelihood. "By Loki's eyes, I thrice curse those mangey dogs that did this to me!", he said in an interview outside the Paragon Central Courts recently. "I am called the Violent for a reason, but then some pox-addled Saxon gets it wrong and everywhere I go they call me the Violet! THE VIOLET! The only phone calls I get now are from interior decorators and flower enthusiasts. I will massacre all those responsible, so swear I on my father's beard!"

Askard later retracted the above statement and apologized for any threats he may have made.

Magic-user Merlin Junior agrees with Askard on this. "The impact on my hero career of being known as Marlin Junior has been terrible and dramatic. I continually get call-outs to help save fish, or to talk to whales caught in fishing nets or some such. Sure, I can do it, but it's really limiting my business. Besides, I get seasick easily."

The scaly powerhouse that is Crock indicates that having an incorrect license can be very embarrassing as well. "It took about half an hour before the first 'Crack' jokes started, and things when down-hill from there. I get some very obscene phonecalls from frat boys," she says.

Despite informing City Hall of these errors, the heroes say nothing has been done. They claim that they are using legal action as a last resort and one they hope will work.

Shanon Batrice of the Hero Licensing Board indicates that such mistakes are rare and that when they happen they try to fix them as soon as possible. "We try to re-issue licences with corrections on them quickly," she says. "But in these cases the rebuilding of Paragon City has really got in the way. There are all these new heroes that need to be processed, so some cases fall through the cracks ... err, loopholes. We are trying to fix this problem as we speak."

Ms Batrice says that if heroes clearly write their names on their licensing papers then less problems will occur.

The case will be heard by a civil court in the near future.