When you think of the word "hero", you think of a tall and athletic individual, glowing in health, noble to the core. You think of their caring nature, their love of humanity and their desire to make the world a finer place to live. In fact, when thinking of what a hero should be, you would think of anyone but Yankee Daring.

Since his emergence in Paragon City, Yankee Daring has carved a swarthe through the villains of Paragon City while creating controversy at every turn. Whether it was from his tendancy to beat on villains long after they had given up, to operating high energy particle beams whilst drunk, to his one-sided feud with Statesman, Yankee has been called many things, but the terms 'super' and 'hero' rarely sit in the same sentence as his name.

Yankee Daring kindly agreed to an interview with the Beholder.

Beholder: Please tell us a bit about how you came to be a superhero in Paragon City?

Yankee Daring: It seemed like a good idea at the time. Nowadays, I don't know. I guess I figured a guy with my talents could help some people out or maybe make some money. Lately though it's just been one big hassle after another. Do you know hard it is to get the stains off your clothes after you clear out a nest of zombies? I swear I should have made my costume black instead of red, white, and blue. Especially with a the dirt I come in contact with.

Beholder: Although you have a reputation for getting the job done, you often do it in a manner devoid of grace or charm (and sometimes even pants). Does it worry you that there are several action groups attempting to have your hero licence revoked on the grounds of drunkenness and unnecessary cruelty?

YD: Those people don't know anything. They sit up behind the force-fields and concrete walls on the rich side of the city and talk about how to "get the job done." They don't know what it's like one the street. Sure I may be a bit rough sometimes, but do you think guys like Murder Franchise or Blood Rhetoric play by the rules these bleeding hearts come up with? It's a day-to-day fight on the streets, not a friggin' daisy farm.

As for the drinking thing. Yeah, I got a problem, everyone has some sort of problem. People don't seem to understand I got a superhuman endurance level. I can drink and it doesn't effect me. You would drink if you've seen the things I've seen. Yesterday I saw a spider so big it had kittens tangled up in its web. You walk away from that without taking a drink.

Beholder: What is your problem with Statesman?

YD: I don't have a problem with Statesman. I don't know where people come off thinking that. Sure, everyday day somebody tells me I "should be more like Statesman" or how "Statesman would never spit on a meter maid". Everybody just loves Statesman and I'm just the biggest jerk in the world. Maybe if I was a hundred years old and dressed up in my pajamas people would think I was great too.

Beholder: Are you actually the son of famed 'exotic dancer' Yankee Darling? Or is the name just a coincidence?

YD: "Yankee Darling?" You're making that up. My mother was a saint. You mention her again and I'll pluck your fingers off your hand like petals off a flower.

Beholder: Is it true that it is your oft-companion, Handsome Surgeon, is actually responsible for most of the hero work that you claim credit for?

YD: You see how people try to tear me down? Just because I don't smile for the cameras and be a happy little disciple of Statesman. It's ridiculous. Heroes, Inc. is a partnership. It's fifty fifty all the way. Handsome Surgeon is great to work with, just ask the ladies.

Beholder: How do you feel about holding the highest number of public urination charges in Paragon City history?

YD: Okay. Sometimes I drink a little too much. This one time I urinated on of the Citadel of Steele, you know the headquarters of the Knights of Paragon. Then a week later everyone is talking about me having "the highest number of public urination charges in Paragon City history." It was totally blown out of proportion.

Beholder: Some have called you the greatest disgrace of a hero since Captain Communist back in the early 1980's. How do you respond?

YD: These are the same people who spend all day ironing their pajamas and trying to get their face on a billboard. It's the same old story: all the work, none of the glory.

Beholder: How do you feel about being caught on camera actually taking candy from a baby?

YD: Where do you people come up with this?

Yankee Daring terminated the interview at this time, breaking several doors on his way out. The Beholder wishes to thank Yankee Daring for his time.

The Hero Licensing Board has overturned a number of existing hero licenses on the grounds that they come too close to that of legendary Paragon City hero, Statesman.

Heroes previously known as St@tezm@n, Tate Man, ManStates and StatesWoman have been asked to find a new name for themselves if they wish to continue their career as a hero in Paragon City. This decision has been met with some disappointment - Tate Man said of the order, "How am I meant to publically show my appreciation of John Orley Allen Tate's poetry now?"

In related news, the name Stat-Man has been upheld as being far enough away from Statesman as not to be confused, provided that Stat-Man keeps his costume different and does indeed collect statistics.

Due to technical difficulties beyond our control, the Paragon Beholder will be disrupted until further notice.

We still want submissions and will continue printing, but due to problems with a now defunct webhost and domain name issues, things won't be running as smoothly as they have in the past.

We'll keep you posted :-)