"That photo is terrible! That's my worst side!" ranted Ultra Violent. "I think that photographer specifically waited until I turned around to take the picture! I swear, my butt really isn't that dumpy!"

"This lawsuit is ridiculous," responded SuperHero Weekly's editor in chief Albert Gunderson when questioned on the subject. "First of all, his butt doesn't even look dumpy in the photo. And anyway, you can't sue someone for that kind of thing."

This reporter took the offending photo to the streets of Paragon to get reactions from the public. "His butt looks fine," said Ellen Fenton, 63. "I don't see what the big fuss is," said Kelly Williams, 24. "He has a perfectly nice butt." Most men questioned refused to comment.

Ultra Violent's lawsuit is expected to be summarily dismissed as "totally idiotic."

Ultra Violent claims this picture makes his butt look fat.

Nin Soke Responds to: Crey To Sue JR

Nin Soke, allegedly
[The following was received with no return address. We cannot verify the identity of the author due to suspiciously missing hero registration records. ­UnSub]

Despite not having any form of authorisation from the Statesman surrounding the project, Mr Di Tromao has said that the film will be released in late 2004, containing "wall-to-wall action, while still being true to Statesman's life".

Since his first appearance, Statesman depicted on the big screen in four films. In For The Red, White and Blue (1948) the Statesman provided information about his WWII experiences for this above average war drama. Statesman personally picked John Wayne to play his film representation, but was reportedly unhappy with some of the changes made without his consultation.

Statesman! Statesman! Statesman! (1977), a low budget b-grade comedy starring Dudley Moore as "The Man Who Would Be Statesman", was released without permission from Statesman to use his name or likeness. Dudley Moore's portrayal of a man obssessed with Statesman was average at best, but performed well enough at the box office that a sequel was rumoured to be in development until Statesman announced his disappointment with the original due to its "camp nature".

Statesman in the Valley of Evil (1983) was another unauthorised release, this time from a small Hong Kong film studio. A cult film for certain groups, this version of Statesman has him using a whole gamut of powers while fighting an increasingly bizarre arrangement of badly dubbed martial art villains. Although unintenionally funny in many places, this celluoid depiction of Statesman is often painful to watch for the true Statesman devotee.

The Dark Streets of Paragon (1990) contains Statesman's only real celluloid appearance. This documentary was originally shot as a student project, but due to the film-makers risk taking amongst super beings and their ability to capture the life of a hero on film, it received wide release. Statesman appears in this movie for three minutes, having just saved the camera man from giant tapeworms. It is this section of the film that shows Statesman both before, during and after the action that has made it so prized by Stateman fans.

Other sections of this film reportedly offended certain heroes for their frank nature, with the anonymous documentary maker having to go into hiding after receiving threats.

Is this new film version of Statesman likely to meet the expectations of fans and even the man himself? Given Vincent Di Tromao's reputation and history in directing schlock horror films and overly-sappy romances, it would seem unlikely, but only time will tell.

The Sculptor, whose primary power was one of statue control, first came to prominance during the Rikti invasion for his ability to animate the giant statues within Paragon City parks and use them against the invaders. The statues were very effective against massed Rikti forces and The Sculptor quickly rose in fame throughout Paragon.

With the Rikti contained, The Sculptor experienced a drop in reputation as he was unable to participate in many missions. One hero who did not wish to be named said, "Tom got all big-headed about his Rikti successes and was just unpleasant to be around. Plus it's really hard to find a mission he could do. I mean, he contols really big statues - they can't exactly go into the tunnels and they are really easy to see coming. Most villains just hid while Tom was on patrol and waited for the giant thumping sounds to go away."

Apparently angered by his lack of popularity and in how quickly Paragon citizens had forgotten him, The Sculptor started using his powers in increasingly malicious ways, including destroying other city landmarks "accidently" during battles and regularly disrupting traffic. The final straw occurred last week when The Sculptor was responsible for a fifteen minute pantomine involving several statues that was described as "lewd" and "indecent" by citizens who witnessed it.

Following this event The Sculptor was stripped of his hero license pending a full investigation. In handing down the findings Judge Mary Anglistein said that Mr Mason "had consistently abused his powers" and "his penalty should serve as a warning to others." Mr Mason's powers have been temporily neutralised and he has been asked to leave Paragon City.

Mr Mason has said he will appeal the finding.