In a shock announcement today it has been disclosed by authorities that an unnamed criminal organisation had been using dimension-hopping technology to bring giant insects to Paragon City. It is not yet determined what aims this group had, but from photographic materials released it is clear that they had achieved their objective - to locate a dimension where giant insects ruled.

It is known that this dimension has humanoid inhabitants, but given the size of the ants it appears obvious that the humanoids probably act as slaves or as a food source. Speculation abounds that this dimension could be the possible origin of the giant tapeworms that plague Paragon City.

Pictures of the giant ants, along with a humanoid poised in obvious supplication to them.

Everyone who enjoys a relaxing day in one of Paragon City's many public parks knows of Greenleaf. Greenleaf has rose to public fame in the recent months for spear heading the Mayor's post-invasion re-building program called "GreenParks".

The "GreenParks" program was formed to rebuild all the public parks and to repopulate them with trees in a hope to bring new life to the city. Using both conventional and supernatural means they have managed to re-plant a vast majority of the city scape. Greenleaf's contributions has been vitally important because of his magical ability to grow plants to full maturity within minutes.

Trying to do something good in these dark times has met with many difficulties, most of which have come from vandalism by undesirable elements within city parks. Not resting on his morals, Greenleaf showed us another unique power he has with plants: the ability to talk to them. After many magical conversations with the plants, Greenleaf was able to help the Dawn Patrol arrest many of the park vandals.

Greenleaf's fame rose greatly as being able to talk to the trees, and with that added fame he began to campaign for more funding for the Mayor's "GreenParks" program. These efforts paid off and new funding became available and he was able to finish off all the inner-city park re-plantings months ahead of schedule.

The World Tree Fund organisation, aka The WTF, decided that Greenleaf was the perfect spokesperson for them and their newest campaigns to rejuvenate the world's forests since Greenleaf could talk for the trees of the world, literally. The WTF organised a rally in Freedom Park, just outside the Freedom Phalanx headquarters, where they invited a large number of its members to hear the words of Greenleaf.

What happened at that rally this morning, shocked everyone there...

As Greenleaf stood in front of the WTF crowd he looked around the crowded and messy park, the park he helped to clean and regrow, he looked pale green and nothing like the bright green he usually is. He looked like he had stage fright as he stood there with that sick and stunned look on his face.

A WTF official came to the microphone to help save the bewildered hero and tried to start Greenleaf in talking by asking "What do trees hate the most ?" The response that came out was nothing like you would of expected...

Continued in adjacent column...

"Trees... Trees... accept what we do, they understand more than you can ever possibly imagine, they don't mind being cut down as all life is a continual cycle... but there is one thing they can not stand..." the pause seemed to go on for ages and when the silence ended...

"Trees hate... being chained to you hippies !!! You foul smelling, tree hugging, nature molesting, plant eating, playing bongos badly, lazy money bludging, brain dead hippies!!!"

The whole entire park went dead silent from the shock, it was so silent you could of heard the Statesman sneeze across the road in his office. I think I was the only person with a smile on my face as Greenleaf continued by saying "Do something constructive with your lives, stop wasting your brains on dope, leave the vegetables alone and eat a steak" and in a bright flash of green light he teleported out of Freedom Park.

I don't think the shock ever wore off, the rest of the rally was cancelled and the people quietly went home.

The World Tree Fund are yet to make any form of official announcement, and Greenleaf has been unreachable for comment.

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