Paragon City internet servers are straining under the weight of a Christmas burden and these are not messages filled with holiday greetings. Internet users are being inundated with what has become known as the "Yuletide Spam Log" - spam messages that claim to offer ways of increasing the size of your Christmas tree.

Some users have received hundreds of messages since the start of December that sell products that claim to "make your Christmas Tree bigger without surgery" in order to "impress your loved ones". The process is also claimed to be "100% safe and all natural" with "no harmful side-effects". Testimonials included in the spam messages point to increased joy over the holiday season and more visits from friends and loved ones.

"It's just a pain in the neck," says Sparks Mackenzie of Paragon Internet Providers. "This spam is just a waste of time and wherever we manage to block one user who's sending it, another just appears in its place. It's costing users time and money to look at this junk..."

But what about the claims made in the spam? Is it possible to increase the size and brightness of your Christmas Tree once it's in the house?

"The short answer is no," says Nick Saint of the Heights Tree Doctoring Service. "Once you've got a fully grown tree there is no easy way to increase its size. Sure, there is surgery, but that's very invasive, messy and who really wants a bigger tree that badly? Besides, not everyone wants a big tree - the average tree is about 6 feet and that's enough for most people."

Email users are recommended to get a spam blocking software program or ask their local ISP about ways to filter unwanted messages from their inbox.

For Sale: 1 Tactical Thermonuclear Device, 50 k. ton, barely used.

Serious inq. only. Pls. contact: Prof. Destructo, c/o Paragon City Home for The Criminally Insane, Rm. 502

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For Sale
The very same helmet that Robotus Titanicus wore in his final ill-fated sortie against the Rikti! Slight Plasma scorching on the faceplate, but the neural-interfacing mini rocket launcher is still in prime working order! May need washing before use!
Interested parties to contact Vincent Vasquez on 0500555555.

In recent weeks, the hero known as Fray has begun to fight crime with a canine companion. This furry sidekick has been the talk of Paragon’s hero circles. Her name is Venus and she is a collie.

Fray found the bitch in an alley near the waterfront. She was initially playful and healthy but soon began to show signs of ill health and decay. Fray brought the dog to an animal hospital where she was nursed back to health. He kept her as a house pet until one fateful night.

Venus had followed Fray on his evening heroing rounds. Fray was unaware of having a furry sidekick for his patrolling that night!

She lost sight of her master but soon caught up to him, following the sounds of intense combat. Fray was in the midst of a war with a Rikti cabal when Venus found him. He was not faring well.

As bolt after blast of alien energy weapons rained down on the popular hero, Venus entered the battle. She charged at the aliens and was narrowly singed from energy fire. Fray, was taken aback and he ran to her. As he did, a final Rikti blast aimed straight for his heart was fired. Fray’s days were at an end… if not for Venus! She jumped in front of him in an act of sacrificial love and took a direct hit.

Needless to say she should have been killed. But stranger things have happened in this fair city. After several minutes of unconsciousness, Venus awoke. She hopped up and began to run around.

Fray was stunned. Better than that, however, was what happened next. As she ran, she began to glow with a greenish energy. Soon she was moving at super-canine speeds. She jumped and to the air and took off! Venus could fly!

Since that amazing night, Fray has gone everywhere with Venus. Side by side they fight crime, a man and his dog. Two friends ridding the city of evil!

Arriving for the holiday season in Paragon City, the Hero Circus is a must see for all junior citizens. With such amazing acts as the invulnerable Cannonball Johnson and the rare gargantuan female at 2000 pounds and 8 feet high of shear mass, Miss Brick, it will be an event not to be missed.

Watch as Cannonball Johnson in his skin tight clown suit is blasted from a huge cannon only to be grabbed out of mid air by Miss Brick.

The speedster tightrope walker The Lightning Spider is an act worth seeing. And after watch the flying trapeze artist the Fantastic Foursome. Gaze in wonder as the tanker Thingamabob hurls the Vanishing Lady up to the trapeze bars to be caught by the fantastic Mister Elastic. With a rubbery flip the Vanishing Lady is hurled through a stormy fire of torches lit by the burning blaster Johnny Fire only to disappear upon landing safely on the other side.

Catch other eye-catching attractions with the mutant Elephant Man or the Serpent like mutant, Lady Viper at the Hero Circus! Tickets will be on sale shortly.

In a move to combat some of the more risque costumes that have emerged in recent months, city officials are planning to introduce a Costume Decency Act that will apply within city limits. The Act is a response to a number of heroes who have started to battle crime whilst wearing very little clothing and in some rare instances while wearing nothing at all.

"Having heroes dressed like cheap harlots or gigilos is completely unacceptable and sets a bad example," says Harry Michaels of the Paragon Citizens for Decency (PCD) community group. "Too many of the girls now-a-days look like they belong as strip club acts while the men aren't afraid to let everything be on show. It's disgusting. It cheapens the term 'hero' to see it used on them."

In some cases heroes have been found to even go out wearing nothing at all, although for the most part this has been done by mutants who feel adequately covered by scales or fur. "I'm sorry, but if you are going out you must put on some pants and a top," says Harry Michaels. "Feathers are not enough."

"Frankly, these people don't have a clue," says BlakkStarr, one of the heroes cited for wearing small costumes. "Firstly, heroing can be hot work so not wearing full-on suits means I keep cool."

"Secondly, not having every square inch covered means that the villain has less to grab onto if we go hand-to- hand... and with my style, we almost always do!"

"Thirdly, replacing costumes is expensive work - an M60 round won't pierce my skin, but it blows away clothing real easy. Almost evey night I finish patrol with my top and skirt in tatters. I just can't afford to buy a latex bodysuit or something like that every day!"

"Finally, I don't spend two hours at the gym everyday to then go and cover myself in a boilersuit! I look good. I know it. The citizens know it. Other heroes know it. Even villains know it as I lay the smack down on them. Why hide what looks this good?"

The Costume Decency Act will be debated in coming weeks at City Hall. Public comment is invited about all aspects including minimum hemline measurements, how tight tights can be and exactly how phallic ballistic weapons are allowed to appear.

A pantless hero being arrested for public indecency.