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Byline: We See What Goes On!

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Issue #: 8 (Jun. 2003)

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Does My Archetype Look Big In This?

by Tyffany Summers, Cultural Editor

With the new hero classification system coming into place, I'm sure many of you are thinking to yourself "Hey, how will this effect me? Will being a Scrapper stop me getting dates? Do I have to put on weight if I'm a Tanker?". Not to fear! As an ex-model, I know how much labels can hurt your career. But, trust me: there is little to develop worry lines over. All you need to be a bit careful, watch your social protocols and continue being your normal, fantastic, superhero self and it won't matter what your archetype is - you'll be the life of the superhero circuit.

Here's some things to keep in mind:

  • Discrimination is an ugly word any way you look at it. Don't go around excluding Scrappers from your team because you will get a reputation that will be very hard to shake.

  • Making fun of a Tanker's weight (be it accurate or not) is a good way to get a quick trip to the Emergency Ward.

  • "Hey baby, I'm a Controller..." is not, and never will be, a good pick-up line. In fact, it's a good way to have a restraining order slapped on you.

  • Defenders don't HAVE to defend you if you are unpleasant towards them.

  • Blasters don't like being called 'Tex', 'Deadeye' or 'Sharpshooter' (unless, of course, that is their hero name).

  • Scrappers have herad enough garbage jokes to last a lifetime. Let it drop - you aren't as funny as you think you are.

  • A Blaster's role is not to soften up the bad guy so you can get all the glory of the final blow. They should support you, you should support them and both share the fame equally.

Remember - an Archetype is a title that classifies you by what you can do, not by who you are. Always be polite to other heroes and never judge them by the label on their hero license and, before you know it, everyone will be looking to group with you. Ciao!


Boodikka - don't mess with her!

Boodikka - don't mess with her!

Watching the Watchmen

A Chat with Boodikka, leader of Amazones: The Max Factor

Interview by Ashton Burrows

Once upon a time, it was thought that women could not be as effective with superpowers as men. Women who could liquify metal with their touch or move at supersonic speed were told that they should be at home, looking after their husband. Protests broke out in major cities when it was announced that female heroes would be going into Germany in World War II while legislation was proposed to keep women from acting as crime fighters. For a long time, women where told that being a hero was a man's job.

Thankfully, this attitude has largely diminished in recent times. Footage of female heroes fighting off villains is becoming increasingly common. Among this vanguard is the all female Amazone: The Max Factor. Boodikka, the group's leader, has kindly agreed to this interview.

Beholder: How long have you been an active hero in PC?

Boodikka: I, the Mighty Boodikka, returned to Earth in October 2001. I have been gracing this planet, and Paragon City, with my presence ever since.

Beholder: How did you manage during the Rikti invasion?

Boodikka: It was great fun! What Boodikka enjoyed most was the manner in which the Rikti bounced! When you threw them out of skyscrapers, their corpses bounced up very high! Most amusing!

Beholder: How long has Amazone: The Max Factor existed as a superhero group?

Boodikka: It was formed shortly after I arrived. I realized Paragon City needed mighty superheroines to protect it, as opposed to all the puny Earthling males.

Beholder: Do females heroes experience gender discrimination? Will certain contacts not deal with you "because you're a girl"?

Boodikka: The ones that would not deal with me aren't around anymore.....heh, heh.

Beholder: Are there any villain groups that Amazone actively target?

Boodikka: I think that Crey woman's head would look lovely above the mantlepiece in our living room.

Beholder: What about this rumor that you are addicted to junk food, snack cakes in particular?

Boodikka: Shut up or I'll kill you.....

The interview was terminated at this point with the interviewer in fear for his life. After he promised to never, ever, ever again engage in such gutter journalism and tabloid rumour, Boodikka kindly put him down with a pat on the head saying that he was "cute when absolutely terrified". The Beholder thanks Boodikka for her time.

Horoscope

By the Amazing Rando
Certified via the Midnight Squad's Order of Astrology

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Don't worry, all giant robots have a weak spot on the back of their neck. No neck? Well, good luck.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You will meet a mysterious masked man, so the same old thing.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
You will realize that you're a trend setter when you see everyone wearing the "dark and moody street clothes" look.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
Though you hate to admit it, the line "Yeah, I know Statesman" works a lot better then just telling women that you're a super hero. Of course, if you are a woman, showing up in costume should be enough.

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
You should really start writing your dry, witty phrases down. That stuff is literary gold!

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
You're a Mutant Blaster and they're a Magic Defender. Things will never work out - you're from two different worlds.

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
There is only one thing that would save him now: the Omega Serum. But you promised him you wouldn't!

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
"Accidentally" getting hit by Gamma rays won't give you more powers, it'll just burn.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
If you want good contacts you're going to have to put yourself out there. Maybe some business cards would help, or put out an advertisement for "Help Wanted".

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
You will finally gain the level of experience you need to project your hands half an inch away from a villain's face so you can proclaim, "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" in a taunting manner.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
Does your sentient animal sidekick / comic relief need that mask? Does he really have such an active social life that people might recognize him outside his costume?

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
You never fully appreciated the inept, sleeping, and distracted guards when you had them.


Advertisement Heroism for Men by Kelvin Claim


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Issue #: 8 (Jun. 2003)

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